Do you and your lover need a little bedtime reading for the cold winter evenings? OK, so I know everyone South of the equator is at the tail end of summer, but winter is coming to you soon. Maybe you could buy them a book to excite and amuse them. Maybe an adult classic?

For example, that old favourite, the The Complete Illustrated Kama Sutra. Not the most imaginative gift but it does come with pictures which are easier to follow than text when you`re jigging up and down. Now although some of the gentlemen pictured seem to have unfeasibly long penises simply to achieve the positions depicted you will at least have a lot of fun trying to emulate them.

There are other classics like The Happy Hooker. This as a 30th anniversay edition a few years ago, though as much to celebrate the publication of a new book by Xaviera Hollander as three decades since the Happy Hooker topped the best sellers list.

If it`s a true classic you`re after, one that still intrigues and inspires after over a century how about Venus in Furs
. Things you didn`t know about Sacher Masoch? He`s the great-great-uncle of Marianne Faithful, so that`s what the fur rug she was wearing when the police raided Jagger`s house was all about …

One book that might have a mixed reaction is The Break Up Bible. According to the blurb …

“Compiled by former stand-up comedian, belly-dance teacher and confirmed singleton Ruth Graham, The Break-Up Bible features an abundance of true splitting-up stories from around the globe to make you howl with laughter or cringe with embarrassment. The book also features a Break-Up quiz, tips on ways to dump the loser in your life and how to spot your lover’s roving eye.

It’s the perfect antidote to all that lovey-dovey nonsense that surrounds Valentine’s Day – a night when, traditionally, single women either stay at home drinking chianti hoping for Mr Darcy to enter their dreams, or hit the local nightclub where single men attempt to ‘charm’ their way into their affections with a packet of pork scratchings and a pint of gaseous lager.”

I did try and do a little research on Ruth Graham, but didn`t come up with anything. Why? Well Ruth Graham is also the name of the wife of the late evangelist preacher Billy Graham. I`m guessing from the description above that they aren`t the same person.

I`ll leave it to your judgement as to whether or not The Break Up Bible such a great gift for your friend or lover.

Tags: Kama Sutra, Sacher Masoch, Vebus In Furs, The Break Up Bible, Ruth Graham, The Happy Hooker, Xaviera Hollander, Marianne Faithful, Mick Jagger, Rolling Stones, Billy Graham

You wouldn`t expect anything else from a firm called “Love Hearts” than a big heap of Valentines Day goodies.

They have numerous sugar based gift ideas, such as boxes of sweets and other items like teddy bears and silver pendants. For Valentines Day they are now promoting:

“A beautifully presented, handmade Hamper Box is filled with sweets, including three rolls of Love Hearts that can be personalised to deliver your very own sweet message on Valentine`s Day.”

Are Love Hearts sweets a British thing? Or does the rest of the world have them. Well in case you don`t I ought to point out that Love Hearts are a sugar delivery system without equal. They are to the human body what nitrous oxide is to a drag racer. They also make you backfire.

You have been warned, but if you still want to risk having your beloved racing around the room like a jet powered love machine the sugar-hit-hamper is available here. Last orders for Valentines Day delivery (UK mainland) is 13:00 GMT on 13 February 2008.

Alternatively you could select a gift from Ellipse Lingerie:

“Choose from the great array of luxury lingerie and Ellipse will include a pretty lace bag, packed full of smooth, hand-made chocolates from Columbia. Every gift comes beautifully packaged in bright pink boxes and ribbons and is designed to delight the love of your life. Ellipse is committed to supporting the important Columbian children`s charity called Fundacion Pies des Calzos and will be donating a percentage of the proceeds to help Colombian children who are victims of violence.”

Colobian chocolates are sure to make you smile, especially when you know you`re helping Fundacion Pies des Calzos and their work with children.

“Prices range from £38 for a full cup bra to £55 for a bustier or bikini. Pyjama sets are £56.00.”

Go on, treat her, or him for that matter. There`s no excuse as they have stockists in France, Spain, USA, Mexico, Guatemala, Ecuador, Venezuela and Colombia, as well as the UK.

If your really want to enjoy confectionary on Valetines Day, or your partner is an incurable chocoholic there is only one place to visit. Thorntons chocolate is made from the finest cacao, sugar and the distilled orgasm of a freshly plucked virgin. OK so some of that may not be entirely true.

However according to Thorntons “The cacao tree is a tropical evergreen plant and was christened Theobroma Cacao during the eighteenth century by the Swedish botanist, Linnaeus. Theobroma Cacao means ‘the food of the gods’ from the Greek ‘theos’ meaning ‘god’ and ‘broma’ meaning ‘food’, reflecting the reverence chocolate has.”

Click here for the Thorntons Valentines Day page. 

Tags: Valentines Day, Love Hearts, Ellipse Lingerie, Thorntons Chocolate

Valentines Day is coming and it made me think of what you could buy you partner. How about this, reviewed recently by Suze and myself:

From the moment I opened the beautifully decorated tin my senses were bombarded with exotic aromas filled with promise. The Kama Sutra Earthly Delights Gift Tin, which really should be “Beautiful Tin” makes for an ideal present for the lady in your life and don`t think this will just be for her, I`m sure she will want to share the wonders contained within.

Alex and I rarely get time to languish in erotic foreplay, we are tired like most couples when we get home from work and want to just get jiggy with it most of the time. So when Bedtime Heaven sent this out for us to test drive I welcomed the change, it meant that we would be spending some quality time just enjoying the sensual massage and play it encourages. And yes it does encourage intimacy and playfulness.

The tin contains:

Original Oil of Love
Stimulating Pleasure Balm
Sweet Almond Massage Oil
French Vanilla Crème Body Soufflé
Sweet Honeysuckle Honey Dust
And last but not at all least a lovely little feather applicator

(The links above are to the individual products, also available from Bedtime Heaven)

This gift set really encourages you to get down and dirty and best of all you can actually lick and kiss any of the products from your partner as they contain natural ingredients. Although I must stress that you should stay well clear of the Almond Massage Oil if you are in any way allergic to nuts.

I volunteered myself to try out the delightful preparations first. You know what I`m like, go for it and enjoy! I rolled over on to my stomach. We were of course both naked, having turned up the central heating to ensure the bedroom was nice and warm first.

To relax me and much to my surprise, I felt the gentle touch of feathers moving up my calves. They felt slightly tickly but at the same time comforting with their delicate touch. Alex ran them up my legs, over my buttocks travelling up my spine. He gently brushed my body all over with the feather applicator, giving me just a taste of what was to come.

Alex then opened one of the containers, I had no idea which one he had selected, I love surprises. I felt the droplets make contact with my skin, they weren`t cold as the tin had been in the bedroom warming too.

He then began to work the liquid in to my muscles around my shoulders and descending down my vertebra. The oil began to heat and my nostrils were filled with the blend of chocolate, vanilla and cinnamon. Now I`m not a chocoholic but I must admit that I was aroused by the smell. Maybe there is something in this chocolate versus sex thing. Lol

As he massaged the oil in to my flesh I began to feel so relaxed and could feel myself starting to get a little turned on too. The oil started to warm my muscles, it must have been the cinnamon. He worked this in to my back and then asked me to roll over. By now I had my eyes shut and the air in the room was laced with the essence dark chocolate and vanilla.

Another bottle was opened and I felt the tingle and cool sensation envelope my nipples. They immediately responded becoming hard and erect. He was encircling each of my areolas with the Stimulating Pleasure Balm which had a mint aroma and tingled on contact with my skin. I opened my eyes to catch Alex grinning as he watched my nipples engorge as he rolled them around in the minty gel.

He then lowered his mouth on to my nipple and began to lick the minty stimulant whilst staring at me lustfully. I was now so sexually aroused that I could have wrapped my legs around him and fucked but I wanted to savour this valuable time together and enjoy the delights of being reacquainted with each other on an emotional and tactile level.
I lay back on the bed, enjoying his tongue working it`s magic on my nipple and breast. Using a combination of flicks, licks and sucks he managed to bring me so close to orgasm. I had to cross my legs tightly to subdue the arousal. I checked Alex out as he repositioned himself to reach for another product from the tin on the bedside drawers. He was erect, certainly ready to fill me with his cock.

Again I closed my eyes in anticipation of what was to come. I felt the warmth of Alex`s hand between my legs and the application of something to my pussy with his fingers. I lay there feeling the warm caress of a tongue, gliding over my vulva. I squirmed with his lingual attentions. He was lapping away at me like a hungry cat. Groaning as he sucked and licked my pussy in to submission.

By now I was fit to burst. I started to buck my hips in perfect rhythm with his lapping. Then my orgasm gripped me and I shook as he licked me adding to the saliva already coating my swollen pussy. Little did I know that Alex had applied a liberal amount of French Vanilla Crème Body Souffle which he eagerly ate from my pussy.

“Right something for you next”, I suggested. “Can you pass me the Sweet Almond Massage Oil?”.

Alex handed me the bottle, no screw top, a rocker top bottle for ease of application. I squirted a liberal amount of oil over my breasts and demanded that he massage it in. The aroma was overwhelming. Just like marzipan (almond paste), I have loved marzipan since being a child. It was captivating.

I was now immersed in sensory melee of aromas, digital, oral and mental stimulation. Fucking was not an option but next on the agenda.

Using both hands simultaneously, Alex massaged and kneaded the oil in to my breasts as I relaxed. It`s a bit of a fetish of mine but I love to watch Alex roll and mould my breasts, especially when they are glistening coated in oil.

Emotions got the better of me and I called out “Alex, put your cock between my boobs”. I pushed my tits together with both hands and waited. Alex straddled me and pushed his cock between my fleshy mounds. I was still oiled and the smell was amazing. He started to slowly run his cock between the valley of my breasts and I hung on now coated in oil my grip was slightly impaired. But where there is a will there is a way.

“Hmmm”, he moaned, working his cock in and out of my boobs. I pushed them together more firmly, gripping his cock, making the sensation more intense. Watching as his cock retracted and then poked out from between my breasts, time and time again. Head shining and purple with blood flow.

Alex now had his eyes closed and head pushed back nose pointing at the ceiling. He was now fucking hard and deliberate, speed was picking up. And I could tell his orgasm was building. His breaths more rapid and obvious.

Then from out of the blue he gasped, “Agggghhhh” and he came. With each pump he spewed out his seed. My chest was spattered with his semi opaque fluid. Then a globule of cum hit my chin and with a last thrust he groaned and fell on to his side by me.

I`m no expert but I think that he enjoyed that…

And so did I!

Alex’s impressions:

Suze`s description of the Earthly Delights Gift Tin is pretty comprehensive and I couldn`t agree more about the relaxing and stimulating effect it had on us both.

Its presentation is faultless and choice of items just right for naughty nights in with your partner. I suppose you`d automatically think of this as a gift for a female partner, rather than a male one, but consider this. When he opens the tin on Christmas morning he may be surprised, but watch his face as the realisation dawns about who is going to be applying the products in the tin to his body … and then what he can get up to applying it to yours.

We also think this product is amazing value for money. All the products are high quality, so a little will go a long way. You can enjoy night after night of sensuality well into the new year, and because each item has been well chosen there`s enough variety so you will not get bored. Although, you`re pretty much guaranteed to get drilled. Sorry couldn`t resist.

So what did it feel like when Suze laid her hands on me?

First of all the feather dusting brush. I never thought I`d be one for feathers, a bit girly perhaps. I was wrong. It`s not as electric as I find the rubber whip can be when it`s dragged gently across my skin, but different, more subtle and very pleasant. I`m smiling here just thinking about it.

The soufflé smelled exquisite. You can imagine eating a bowl full of the stuff, though I wouldn`t advise it. The taste`s a little disappointing after the delicious smell, but that`s no matter as the sensation of licking it from a nipple or having it licked from yours is fantastic.

I think I`m going to run out of superlatives so bear with me.

The Love Oil is very surprising. Anything chocolate flavoured tends to be sickly sweet, both to smell and taste, however the oil smells and tastes spicy and chocolaty. It`s warming to the body and mind, avoiding the overpowering and artificial saccharine-like aroma and taste lower quality products have. Applying it to Suze`s back I found I needed only a small amount to give a soothing, sensual massage without any stickiness.

Suze`s use of the almond massage oil on my back filled the air with the smell of Amoretto and left me drifting in a relaxing yellow sea (not literally, my synaesthesia again, to the rest of the world I was relaxed and goosebumpy).

We found that the best way to appreciate just what these products do to the air around you is to walk out of the room where you`ve been using them for a few minutes and re-enter. It`s like walking into an enveloping blanket of rich, relaxing and sensuous aromas.

If you do decide to give this gift to your partner for Christmas it`s going to make a great change from the usual naughty underwear or adult toy. Then again why not buy all three.

Bedtime Heaven are accepting orders for all products including the Kama Sutra Earthly Delights Gift Tin right up until 21st December at 17:00 for Guaranteed Special Delivery before Christmas.

Tags: Kama Sutra Earthly Delights Gift Box, Kama Sutra, Kama Sutra Earthly Delights, massage, sensual massage, massage oil, sensual massage oil, love oil, honey dust, body soufflé